After just 3.5 hours sleep the alarm went off at 05:30, it was match day again, the blank canvass of Birmingham awaited. By 06:00 I was out walking the dogs at Tiddenfoot Country park before heading home for Breakfast at 06:45. With Frankie of Frankie’s café on holiday with his family thus his café being closed and my back-up of the Route 66 diner not opening until 09:00, Mrs Fleet was on breakfast duty. I knew it was going to be a long day, so I opted for:
- 6 Bacon
- 4 Sausage (Marks & Spencer Pork and Apple)
- Portobello Mushrooms
- 2 Tomato
- 2 Black Pudding
- 2 Fried Eggs
- Beans
- Bread & Butter
- Tea
It was a stunning effort and one I could enjoy without the constant worry of spilling HP source down my casual clobber as I was still wearing my dog walking gear. Breakfast done, I stuck on my football playlist and went and had a bath and put on my clobber for the day, namely:
- Sergio Tacchini Bucket Hat
- Fila Polo Shirt
- Aquascutum Shorts
- Adidas SL80 Runners
I was in two minds about topping the look off with my mirrored Ray-Ban Aviators, but after consulting BBC Weather (when have they ever been wrong….) with the exception of sunny intervals between 08:00 and 10:00, the forecast for Brum was cloudy all day, so I thought better of it and decided to leave them at home. With two cold #cans in a carrier bag, I was picked up at 08:20 by Leighton Buzzard Taxi’s and whisked away to the station. I was due to catch the 08:47 Southern train to Milton Keynes but jumped on the London North Western Railway’s 08:40 service, as Southern services are often cancelled and getting to Brum late was obviously not an option. I landed in Milton Keynes at 08:50 and went to the waiting room on Platform 6 to sit down. Whilst in the waiting room at 09:06 I opened my first can of Strongbow and then caught my train the 09:17 to Birmingham New Street.
The train was absolutely packed, so I ended up standing the whole way to Birmingham in the section between the carriages by the toilets. The sooner they get on with opening HS2 the better in my book. All the people that moan about it are never the ones impacted by actually having to use the overcrowded, over capacity northwest main line. Anyway, the train journey up was relatively quiet – I half kept an eye out for any Herd, Headhunters or 6:57 as Arsenal, Chelsea and Pompey were all playing in the north west and Awaysocks had already messaged that there was a decent old school Chelsea turnout at Euston, but I managed to miss all three. The train stopped at Coventry but there were no Legion to be seen on their way to QPR – they must have left already. Two #cans later at 10:06 the train pulled into Birmingham New Street and I exited the station via the Howard Street exit, with the barriers being left open – I asked myself the point of buying a ticket as my ticket was not checked there and back all day and the barriers were open – its no wonder our rail system is in the mess that it is.
Once out the station with Kool & The Gang’s
Get down on it being played at full blast through my Apple AirPods I purposefully strolled towards the first pub of the day, The Bull Ring Tavern. To get there you have to walk through the Bull Ring Market, as the pub came into view the excitement of the day was really kicking in and I can honestly say that there would have been no place I would rather have been in the world. Despite this, part of the casual way of life is to ooze distain wherever you go, so despite how I was actually feeling, I did my best to put an expression on my face of utter exasperation at having to venture into such a sh*t hole to go and watch my team play, as if the middle of Birmingham was the last place I would like to be, as if it was somehow beneath me. With this expression plastered over my face, clobbered up, and a toned-down Liam Gallagher walk perfected, I hope in someway I upset one or two locals.
Anyway, despite it only being 10:15 in the morning the pub was doing a roaring trade. Druggie and Nick Logan were holding court with Bill Benn and after paying just £2.90 for a Strongbow I joined them. The Bull Ring Tavern is quite a strange boozer in so much that it is located right on the edge of the Irish working class area of Birmingham. So if you look out the front you overlook the redeveloped part of Birmingham City Centre, but anything behind the pub onwards is an absolute hell hole and really rough and run down. I know its only a matter of time before this great pub gets condemned and turned into a luxury block of flats, hence making the most of it whilst its still here. At 10:45 a train load of BYE descended on the pub so we were over 40 handed in Birmingham City Centre before 11:00, with no Old Bill to be seen and no Villa either – some people would call that an off the pitch result in the world of the chap.
I would have been quite happy to stay in this fine establishment for the whole of the pre match build up but everyone else wanted to head to Snobs near the station so after a couple of pints with the time nearing 11:00 we all walked back through the market to Snobs.
By just gone 11:00 we were all holed up in Snobs and the cider was once again flowing – Aspalls sadly as they did not do Strongbow. At 11:30 we were joined by Sir Dave of Davestings and Awaysocks, and then Goodminton and a couple of his mates arrived too. Myself and Awaysocks talked about our favorite football hooligan films, namely the original firm, the 2009 Firm remake, ID and Football Factory. We also discussed the chances of Awaysocks getting into the ground as his Mrs had ripped his ticket up after he stayed out on the session last week so he had to sellotape it together – I said I thought he would be ok. For the next couple of hours this bar became the place to be seen for anyone who runs in the chap circles on matchday. By about 13:00 a few dozy Villa had entered the place. The BYE were singing songs about Jack Grealish leaving Villa due to the poor quality of the Villa team. One funny moment when I was having a piss in the loo was when one of these Villa lads mistook Druggie for also being Villa and started moaning to him about disrespectful cockneys, as Druggie was explaining that he was actually Brentford, about 6 BYE bundled into the loo and the Brummie lad very quickly went quiet and made a hasty retreat.
By now the time was getting on for 13:30 and I had consumed 5 pints of Aspalls so was starting to feel pretty chilled. However, the drink and testosterone filled pub was now full of lads from both Villa and Brentford and was probably a powder keg waiting to explode. Knowing that the BYE could quietly easily deal with their Villa counterparts in there, myself, Nick Logan, Druggie and someone else but I can’t remember who, jumped in a taxi and headed to the Whitton Arms.
We got out the cab and paid our two quid to enter the Whitton Arms. In there we met Pointy and a non GPG TW8 along with Northampton Bee. I think Northampton Bee was pretty merry as he told the TW8’s about how he was going to knock out his daughter’s boyfriend despite not knowing the bloke, or the bloke doing anything wrong. We consumed another two pints in this pretty decent away fans only pub before making our way to Villa Park.
The sun was beating down and the streets were packed with football fans – the deserted streets of Covid 2020 seemed like a distant memory as we made our way to Villa Park. And what a stadium it is, like Brentford, being located in the heart of the community. After a thorough search, the steward making empty literally everything from my pockets (so unnecessary) we were in. We were immediately greeted by Dave Lane and Billy of Beesotted who kindly introduced me to his daughter and we all spoke a bit of football, all collectively feeling pretty bullish of our on the pitch chances. Then it was time to make our way to our seats. With the away end being pretty much sold out I went and sat in my designated seat which was next to left Wing Ben, but after consuming 9 pints and 2 cans pre match, my reading skills were not what they should have been and I got my row wrong, so had to move a few rows forward just before kick-off. I found myself about 3 rows behind Harry Potter so made a point of saying Hello when I went to the loo after 15 minutes. The highlight of the first half was Sonofabee thinking that Harry Potter was singing sit down shut up to him when he was actually directing the chant at the home end, it was funny if you were there watching this exchange play out.
I cursed how useless BBC weather was as the sun beat down on us all through the match wishing I had my sunglasses. I must say it was an absolute privilege watching Brentford play at Villa Park. An amazing stadium, packed to the rafters and the noise they made celebrating their goal was impressive. With the ground filled to capacity, the sun beating down on us and the away end in full voice, it was a really stunning backdrop to watch a game of football.
After 35 minutes I noticed all the chaps were congregated to the far right of the lower tier of the away end, right near all the Villa lads, including Ambrose 1889, Oddbod, Paulo Bee, Pointy, Nick Logan, Druggie, Posh George and Bracknell_Bee18 who’s hand I shook as I made my way to the seats in that part of the ground. Nick Logan looked like he had taken on a bus load of Villa Hardcore in my absence with a swollen eye and blood all over his face, but it turned out he had simply fallen over during the Brentford goal celebrations, an occupational hazard of the chap lifestyle.
Being that Villa are one of the few clubs to serve Strongbow in the ground I made my way down to get a pint at halftime. I chatted to Nocoat and his lad before getting in the queue to help Nick Logan who was on halftime pint duty. Whilst in the queue I had a good chat with Voice From the Breamar and we both agreed that Millwall and Portsmouth are two of our favorite non Brentford clubs, that tick the boxes of high quality and quantity of chaps. Regrettably the service was slow so the second half had already started by the time I had started my halftime beer. I was not really that fussed though as I was enjoying having a good chat with westwing about when we played Cheltenham away and the CVF turned up throwing flares at the pub after the match – that was quite a day and they even had a small turnout at our place later that season as well with Ken and co having to be on their a game to keep the warring factions apart.
By 16:20 I was back in my seat next to Pointy watching the second half. Well, more watching the Villa fans behind the goal. They were up to their normal tricks of goading the away fans and pointing at everyone and basically behaving like absolute children. There was one bloke in a gray stone island jumper and glasses that was particularly annoying, thinking he was the next Steven Fowler (Villa Hardcore’s top face from back in the day) or something. It always makes me laugh at Villa as the lads behind the goal spend the entire match gesticulating and telling you how your going to get beaten up, sliced up or killed immediately after the match, only to completely disappear into thin air as soon as they leave the ground, it really is strange behavior and I am sure the real Villa lads (who are very decent btw) must cringe at these utter Muppets.
Once the final whistle went, we all clapped the team off and without trying to sound like some kind of scarfer, I really love Thomas Frank and this team really makes me so proud of what we have achieved. I also made sure I shook hands with some of the Villa stewards who on the whole seemed like a decent bunch who let us stand up all game and just left us to it, its nice when common sense prevails.
After the final whistle myself, Druggie and Sir Nick all made our way to the off license by Whitton Station. Whist in the queue we saw Banana wondering around like a lost soul so said hello. We also sadly witnessed a Lacoste clad Villa bully who must have been in his mid 40’s, i.e. old enough to know better have a go at a replica shirt clad Brentford fan who was waiting in the queue with his Mrs telling him to watch himself as he was on his manor in that awful Birmingham accent. Needless to say, this clown did not have the balls to say anything to myself, Druggie or Nick, and I was tempted to give this joker a piece of my mind, but as things did not escalate I figured this was not a battle worth having, regardless another Villa muppet embarrassing himself unfortunately and had things escalated we would quite a happily sorted this chap out as no one likes a bully, especially when its aggression against one of our own.
#cans secured (the full pint variety and cold so definitely worth the wait) and with the queue for Whitton station looking massive and the roads grid locked we made our way to the unfortunately named Yew Tree pub. We wondered into the garden and sat on a table with a family of Villa scarfers (Dad, Mum, Son, Daughter). The son looked like a cross between John Stones and Christian Norgaard and was wearing and England Shirt. We spent the next hour chatting football with them, proving that there are some decent Villa types out there. The pub was decent too, full of a mixture of chaps and scarfs from both clubs but no hint of problems, they also subscribed to our eating’s cheating mantra. I had a good chat with a Villa lad about Sergio Tacchini and the drink was flowing – we stayed here for about 90 minutes in the end as it took nearly 50 minutes to get a taxi. The taxi eventually dropped us off at Moor Street station and with Nick still struggling with mobility after his goal celebrations we decided to knock it on the head.
I went into the station for a quick piss as I really like this station. Having a Grandad who worked for the Great Western (Western Region) in Birmingham as a fireman on the trains makes me feel like I have an affinity to this station as opposed to the bland shopping centre that is New Street. Moor street retains its historic charm even to this day – think Marylebone compared to the concreate monstrosity of Euston in London.
Station admired and bladder emptied I walked to New Street and bought the last #can of Strongbow from WH Smith in the station and two #cans of dark fruit before making my way onto the train. As I was travelling alone, I spent £2.49 to rent ID on my iphone and minded my own business watching that and drinking Strongbow all the way home, thinking how amazing the Rock looked as a football boozer with Bob the landlord as the friendly local publican – it reminded my of the Zoo in its heyday.
3 #cans later I was back in Leighton Buzzard where I went to Kebab Ye for a large Lamb Shish kebab with salad and chili sauce. I got a taxi home and walked through the door at about 22:20.
How good is it to have awaydays back – answer very very good. I can’t do Wolves so West Ham is up next. Although I am going to Manchester with No Surrender bloke next weekend to watch Blackgrape play their hometown. I may well knock up a report for that as well as music and football are all closely linked in the casual world, especially a band of working class Mancs.
Unbeaten into the international break, where do we go from here…………
Obviously gutted to miss this one, so making up for it with an 11:00 start with Sir Nick of Logan tomorrow for the big cup match followed by landing in Brum at 10:00 on Saturday
