Fleet John Premier League Match Report Thread 2021/22

JCMcBee

Well-known member
Joined
19 Apr 2013
Messages
10,171
Reaction score
1,034
Location
The Ponds
tbf unless your into the Italian labels such as Stone Island, CP, Paul & Shark etc the price point for most has come right down in recent years. Most people now buy the clothes because they like the individual garment as opposed to the oneupmanship that prevailed in the 80’s and 90’s of who could wear the most expensive jacket etc. Education over :cool:
....bang on the money with this FJ....true words...... they'd love you in Motherwell squire;)
 

Ruislip_Rich

Active member
Joined
28 Dec 2010
Messages
2,244
Reaction score
893
Location
Ruislip
Seriously, I think home games would just be too similar and would get boring pretty quickly. I might Chuck a few homes in depending on what happens on the day and if there is enough decent content, but will probably save that for the big games. Like the chap element of any club, it’s all about quality as opposed to quantity. I can guarantee a minimum of five more Blackpool trips this season though :cool: :sorted:
Me and a few of the Northolt boys will definitely have to join you on one of Blackpool weekends.
It would be an interesting side plot and might keep Hullbee happy as I'm surprisingly single and I do like a northern young lady. 😆
 

Voice from the Braemar

Well-known member
Joined
25 Jan 2001
Messages
20,567
Reaction score
2,407
Location
finest Surrey
Seriously, I think home games would just be too similar and would get boring pretty quickly. I might Chuck a few homes in depending on what happens on the day and if there is enough decent content, but will probably save that for the big games. Like the chap element of any club, it’s all about quality as opposed to quantity. I can guarantee a minimum of five more Blackpool trips this season though :cool: :sorted:
FIVE ?!!!!! oh dear lord lol lol
 

whyteleafebee76

Active member
Joined
17 Mar 2011
Messages
8,085
Reaction score
496
Location
Selsdon
always in fashion no matter where they sell em.......lacoste, fred perry, aquascutum, burberry, lyle and scott, sergio t, cp company etc etc

never been keen on stone island as although its exclusively expensive it has a look at me im a football hooligan thing about it.....now worn by divs who think their 'street' and 'tough' in the ghetto in places like walsall lol

Very sad how Aquascutum has been on its last legs, one of my favourite brands. That said I found a shirt in TK Maxx this week, yes really, someone must have found in a stockroom cupboard. Sadly too small for me but got it for my son who appreciates the chapness.
 
OP
Fleet John

Fleet John

Active member
Joined
13 Feb 2011
Messages
1,673
Reaction score
709
Location
Leighton Buzzard
Very sad how Aquascutum has been on its last legs, one of my favourite brands. That said I found a shirt in TK Maxx this week, yes really, someone must have found in a stockroom cupboard. Sadly too small for me but got it for my son who appreciates the chapness.
Been struggling for number years now sadly. Their rain mac is a casual must have in my book. Decent brand (except for the baseball caps).
 

Isleworth_Bee

Well-known member
Joined
18 Jan 2005
Messages
24,303
Reaction score
3,493
Location
Basingstoke
School boy error - I had an extra large Lamb Shish kebab at 02:30 this morning after a 12 pint session - no food was consumed from first to last pint.

Chips on my fry up yesterday was lovely but the FJ opinion of this carb addition did spring into my thinking.

Spotted @Fleet John @nick logan and i think @Jambo on the platform at kew but was too star struck to say hello.
 

taxi driver

Active member
Joined
26 Jul 2005
Messages
4,239
Reaction score
923
Location
Staines
In homage to the the great Biggie Smalls I feel I need Fleet John's "Ten Chap Commandments" 🙌

1 - No eating from consumption of 1st pint to cessation of drinking. AKA eating is cheating

Any more........
 

badgerbee

Mafeking Avenue........gets you there!!!!
Joined
28 Jan 2008
Messages
17,839
Reaction score
4,173
Location
Langport, Somerset
In homage to the the great Biggie Smalls I feel I need Fleet John's "Ten Chap Commandments" 🙌

1 - No eating from consumption of 1st pint to cessation of drinking. AKA eating is cheating

Any more........
2. A visit to Ma Kelly’s is compulsory for any Away fixture within a 100 mile radius of Blackpool……
 

Isleworth_Bee

Well-known member
Joined
18 Jan 2005
Messages
24,303
Reaction score
3,493
Location
Basingstoke
I can feel this thread warming up for the big day.
 

Sultan

Active member
Joined
19 Mar 2001
Messages
8,150
Reaction score
796
Location
Staines
3. Anything but the Daily Star is not an option.
 

Voice from the Braemar

Well-known member
Joined
25 Jan 2001
Messages
20,567
Reaction score
2,407
Location
finest Surrey
filling in for FJ for saturdays palace game as someone has to.......his many legions of fans demand a report thesedays and my sub standard one will have to do ;) lol

sausage and egg sandwich before i left with 3 of the vftb juniors (not so junior thesedays though!).......we all know the eating is cheating bit once breakfast is done so im proud to say didnt touch a single thing till a cheese sandwich at 10.30pm when we got back to KT16

a couple of cans on the 11am train from chertsey via weybridge to clapham junc....walked past the sports bar there which was full of our yoof and there was plenty of em....went to the spoons nearby and full of brentford already...4 pints outside being entertained by a gang of local christian rappers who all liked like they used to be naughty boys but have found god and bring a big speaker down to tell everyone.....westwing finally turned up (late as usual ;)) and i made him get me a double gin and tonic for his punishment for being late.....left there at 1.30, can on the train to the salubrious thornton heath area and a walk down to the ground.....the away bit is a complete craphole but it has atmosphere and a couple of bottles of sommerby later in the ground........

decent point and a great turnout of the chaps (too many to mention but most of the usual away lads, NL, jambo lionheart etc etc.......the turtle neck loon in the palace bit entertaining too !

after the game tried to get in the railway telegraph near TH station but they wont let aways in after even though they do before.....strange but thats the premiership i suppose :(

went to offy and a can on the way back to CJ,,,,,,straight into spoons again and brentford everywhere......2 more hours (4 pints) there having a chat with a palmeras brazilian ultra and his german mate about all things football and UK....they love it here and ive convinced them both to get down to LR for a game as its much better than chelsea, arsenal etc ....they could tell from our support at the pub we aint no prawn sandwich club ;) heard that turtle neck loon turned up at sports bar there after and had to leave smartish when confronted by a bees chap.....a real pest that loon

left about 9pm and a couple of cans of polands finest on the train back to chertsey via twickenham and VW...............great day out and saturday at villa will be even better..........fj is on a early start for this one so will be a much better report thankfully ;) lol
 

nocoat

King of the Geeks
Joined
19 Jan 2001
Messages
49,684
Reaction score
3,380
Location
No longer my beloved NAM
Got the 11:49 from Iselworth with nocoatjnr and billy hunt. saw @Simon C and his jnr and sat next to westwing on train for a natter. Left ww at CJ to go as he was off to meet voice. Got the wrong train so missed the pub in Crystal Palace I had booked for lunch. Only had 1 #can on train as with the kid. found prince george for one, it was sh*t. back to railway telegraph for a couple it was much better. met with Silly Hat and Silly Hat Jnr. Walked to ground and had a beer there. chatted with some faces. your @Ruislip_Rich and @gashbee 's of this world watched soccerball with a great view. one at half time nattering to goodminton and ISB and ran in to the log squad too. Time to leave and I got us lost AGAIN but had 4 #cans for the train home. great day out no eating at all although the boy had a wrap. sorry its no FJ effort but thats what happens when one gets old
 
OP
Fleet John

Fleet John

Active member
Joined
13 Feb 2011
Messages
1,673
Reaction score
709
Location
Leighton Buzzard
Great work gents, impressed with the consistent lack of food from first to last drink 🍻 Obviously gutted to miss this one, so making up for it with an 11:00 start with Sir Nick of Logan tomorrow for the big cup match followed by landing in Brum at 10:00 on Saturday:sorted:
 

taxi driver

Active member
Joined
26 Jul 2005
Messages
4,239
Reaction score
923
Location
Staines
Great work gents, impressed with the consistent lack of food from first to last drink 🍻 Obviously gutted to miss this one, so making up for it with an 11:00 start with Sir Nick of Logan tomorrow for the big cup match followed by landing in Brum at 10:00 on Saturday:sorted:

1100hrs start for our first round of the EFL cup at home v FGR 👏👏

Way beyond my capabilities 😲
 

nocoat

King of the Geeks
Joined
19 Jan 2001
Messages
49,684
Reaction score
3,380
Location
No longer my beloved NAM
Great work gents, impressed with the consistent lack of food from first to last drink 🍻 Obviously gutted to miss this one, so making up for it with an 11:00 start with Sir Nick of Logan tomorrow for the big cup match followed by landing in Brum at 10:00 on Saturday:sorted:

I am meeting them at half one. #lightweight #itsnotanightgame
 

ianbees1

Member
Joined
18 Sep 2007
Messages
803
Reaction score
253
Location
Twickenham
filling in for FJ for saturdays palace game as someone has to.......his many legions of fans demand a report thesedays and my sub standard one will have to do ;) lol

sausage and egg sandwich before i left with 3 of the vftb juniors (not so junior thesedays though!).......we all know the eating is cheating bit once breakfast is done so im proud to say didnt touch a single thing till a cheese sandwich at 10.30pm when we got back to KT16

a couple of cans on the 11am train from chertsey via weybridge to clapham junc....walked past the sports bar there which was full of our yoof and there was plenty of em....went to the spoons nearby and full of brentford already...4 pints outside being entertained by a gang of local christian rappers who all liked like they used to be naughty boys but have found god and bring a big speaker down to tell everyone.....westwing finally turned up (late as usual ;)) and i made him get me a double gin and tonic for his punishment for being late.....left there at 1.30, can on the train to the salubrious thornton heath area and a walk down to the ground.....the away bit is a complete craphole but it has atmosphere and a couple of bottles of sommerby later in the ground........

decent point and a great turnout of the chaps (too many to mention but most of the usual away lads, NL, jambo lionheart etc etc.......the turtle neck loon in the palace bit entertaining too !

after the game tried to get in the railway telegraph near TH station but they wont let aways in after even though they do before.....strange but thats the premiership i suppose :(

went to offy and a can on the way back to CJ,,,,,,straight into spoons again and brentford everywhere......2 more hours (4 pints) there having a chat with a palmeras brazilian ultra and his german mate about all things football and UK....they love it here and ive convinced them both to get down to LR for a game as its much better than chelsea, arsenal etc ....they could tell from our support at the pub we aint no prawn sandwich club ;) heard that turtle neck loon turned up at sports bar there after and had to leave smartish when confronted by a bees chap.....a real pest that loon

left about 9pm and a couple of cans of polands finest on the train back to chertsey via twickenham and VW...............great day out and saturday at villa will be even better..........fj is on a early start for this one so will be a much better report thankfully ;) lol
A very well written report and you are a more than adequate understudy for when Fleet John Is unavailable.

I get that warm and comfortable feeling, similar to when Daniels stepped in for Raya.
 

Voice from the Braemar

Well-known member
Joined
25 Jan 2001
Messages
20,567
Reaction score
2,407
Location
finest Surrey
A very well written report and you are a more than adequate understudy for when Fleet John Is unavailable.

I get that warm and comfortable feeling, similar to when Daniels stepped in for Raya.
muchos grassyarse senor....prob more like warren aspinall stepping in for jamie murray though ;) lol
 

oddbod

Active member
Joined
6 Mar 2008
Messages
1,489
Reaction score
39
10.05am Feltham Wetherspoons, the closest you can get to a Star Wars bar of Hounslow, formerly the Cricketers you know where you stand in this place, strangely not as busy as I thought would be but it turns out a lot just headed straight to Clapham to start the day.



Breakfast ordered, 4 Bacon, 3 Sausage, 1 Egg, Beans, Mushroom, Toast, Hash Browns 3 Cups of Tea and a can of Camden Hells for less than a tenner, bargain as the rain started to fall on another great day. 1 Road rage incident we witnessed from the warmth of the pub ended with no violence just a load of verbal as we agreed that the people watching is more exciting here than the Twickenham version.



Regardless of the result this was so important for the fans to be back together in their element with their brothers and sisters at an away day, the fact that it was a top flight London Derby was just a bonus as nearly 3,000 Bees got to do what they do best.



Plenty of Bees faces/shirts walking past with purpose in the drizzle nearly a year and a half since our last away game at Cardiff, since that date so much has happened and now it was time for drunken normality to resume.

Bumped into Leighton and Little Keith on the platform and the 2nd beer was opened, a cheeky Gluten Free 3.8% pale ale from Gypsy Hill Brewery as plenty of rabbit flowed as we stood all the way to Clapham, just like the old days.



As loads of Bees fans headed out to sample the fayre of CJ our 3 (now joined by Ayresome) stuck with our plan A, we headed to platform 17 to head to Wandsworth Common brewery to drink some proper beer made with love, we bumped into Gash and Pointys Saturday army on their way Selhurst Park to pick up their tickets due to the latest off pitch fiasco from our beloved club.



We quickly realised we were on the wrong platform, said our goodbyes and after many hugs and kisses and legged it to platform 15. 1 stop later we were at Belleville Brewery Tap Room and getting into the Craft Beer vibe of drinking lovely beer in a glass and chatting to strangers.



Turned out the barman actually used to live in Brentford and was a regular at the Express and we all agreed what a great Beer town it really is, first few were a lovely session lager called Ball Park (4%) £.3.50 for 2/3rds of a Pint as these were flowing the sun started to come back out that Saturday feeling was an actual thing, we were so content with our environment away from the bustling Clapham Junction plastic pints for £6, Bouncers etc….



ifollow started to feel all so long ago….



We upped our game to the next level local pilsner with London Steam 4.5% was brewed 20 yards from where were sitting, we first tried this in the Steam Packet a couple of years ago and was even better than before if you drink from the source, after a few more it was time to jump back on the train and head to Thornton Heath with the already well oiled Bees onboard.



Paddy Power was the next urgent destination for a big fat steaming fizzy slash as we reached that perfect 2.20pm Saturday feeling. Many fellow faces spotted on route and before we knew it we were at the turnstiles necking our last few pales ales whilst being sniffed by the pyro dogs.



Into the ground and many more hugs and reunion kisses then a quick Gaymers and the body was feeling really content to finally be back amongst our brood.



Half Time soon came and went and the concourse was packed with drinkers and smokers and before we knew it we were off to Sainsburys for some more beer as Palace held on for a point, but for some unknown reason it was closed.



We ended up at the Prince George, none of the beers on sale passed our fussy test so we risked buying cans in the shop opposite and luckily they had 2 cans of Lost and 1 can of 13 Hops, not technically craft but with time to kill until the trains emptied we had to keep the palate wet.



The Ambassador and Varney went past in an old banger and a few Varney Out shouts were heard from the mob assembled on the corner. A round of German import Becks (not the sh*t brewed in Luton) were warily consumed, then we were off marching down the High Street with Logans gang on the left and us rabble on the right.



Back on the train there was no doubt where we were going, back to the tap room which was very busy now with a good mixed crowd of non-football types. We spent the rest of the evening there having a great evening of banter with a couple of brothers from Wolverhampton one a Liverpool fan. Until we realised we were the last ones there and they were packing everything up as had gone 10pm. Top 5 hot topics of conversation were Leeds fans, Orange Chips (Black Country) Otley Run, PJDN and Women’s Cricket and was good to hear a diverse range of opinions.



The rest is a bit blurry, got 8 takeaway cans for £18, We agreed to go to CJ as Gumbo wanted a kebab and we went to just see his disappointed face as no kebab will ever be a match of his local Pooley Green Kebab shop, we were not disappointed as he ate it in about 7 bites and rated it at 0/10 as we tucked into our huge bursting bag full of Maccy D’s (2 Double Cheeseburgers 1 Big Mac, 1 Medium Fries)



We lost Ayresome at Clapham so had plenty of good banter with a random school teacher from Egham on the way back to entertain us. Tried to watch the television but my eyes wouldn’t work so went to bed with 2 litres of fizzy water that was drunk through the night and woke up with no hangover after a cracking ten hour sleep.



Roll on Villa and the lovely pubs in the City Centre.
 

psg150

Active member
Joined
12 Jan 2014
Messages
1,993
Reaction score
503
Location
Hanwell
Brilliant report as usual @oddbod.

Nothing from @Fleet John for Tuesday night? How was the north stand, poor visibility I bet?! :coffee:
Spotted leaving the North Stand at half time.. Unless anyone else was wearing matching Ellesse (I think) Polo and Bucket Hat? First time in a while I've felt genuinely starstruck.
 

ianbees1

Member
Joined
18 Sep 2007
Messages
803
Reaction score
253
Location
Twickenham
Utter carnage on Tuesday. Left at halftime as I was in no state to watch football and went to Kew Cricket club for more cider. Think I had about 14 pints pre match. Bucket hat was Sergio Tacchini and polo was Fila :sorted:
I like Kew Cricket Club. Been there a couple of times now and it seems to cater for the more 'discerning customer'.
 

BEEcool

Active member
Joined
14 Feb 2005
Messages
2,582
Reaction score
2,361
Roger, pal of @badgerbee asked me to pass on his match report from last weekend:

Woke up at 6.00am and had a bath before taking Fenton to stretch his legs for over Richmond Park.

Got dressed: cashmere sweater, lime green chinos, sperry boat shoes and my Team Sky cycling cap.

Set off down the hill to Richmond station, picked up the Guardian and breakfast at Benugo's: smoked salmon, 1 avocado, 2 poached egg, 1 poppy seed bagel, 1 bunch of rocket and an oat milk latte. Will give the breakfast 7/10 as the salmon tasted farmed.

Met some of the TW10 chaps on the train to Palace and quaffed a couple of pinot noir miniatures on the journey. Saw Wayne at the platform undertaking his care duties and it made me ponder what it must be like to earn less than £200k per year.

On to the game and I must say the Palace turn out was very poor apart from one chap in the family stand with a roll neck jumper and rain Mac.

Game wasn't upto much so left early and Misses R picked me up at Richmond station before an evening of beef carpaccio and more pinot noir.

Looking forward to Villa.
 

badgerbee

Mafeking Avenue........gets you there!!!!
Joined
28 Jan 2008
Messages
17,839
Reaction score
4,173
Location
Langport, Somerset
Roger, pal of @badgerbee asked me to pass on his match report from last weekend:

Woke up at 6.00am and had a bath before taking Fenton to stretch his legs for over Richmond Park.

Got dressed: cashmere sweater, lime green chinos, sperry boat shoes and my Team Sky cycling cap.

Set off down the hill to Richmond station, picked up the Guardian and breakfast at Benugo's: smoked salmon, 1 avocado, 2 poached egg, 1 poppy seed bagel, 1 bunch of rocket and an oat milk latte. Will give the breakfast 7/10 as the salmon tasted farmed.

Met some of the TW10 chaps on the train to Palace and quaffed a couple of pinot noir miniatures on the journey. Saw Wayne at the platform undertaking his care duties and it made me ponder what it must be like to earn less than £200k per year.

On to the game and I must say the Palace turn out was very poor apart from one chap in the family stand with a roll neck jumper and rain Mac.

Game wasn't upto much so left early and Misses R picked me up at Richmond station before an evening of beef carpaccio and more pinot noir.

Looking forward to Villa.
👏👏👏😁
 

Paul_T

Active member
Joined
14 Apr 2013
Messages
1,197
Reaction score
186
asked FJ if I could have a borrow of his hat for second half cos the sun was so intense.

he said only if i gave him my raybans and they're a present from the missus so i had to pass.

natty hat.
 

Banana

Very, very seldomly incorrect
Joined
7 Apr 2000
Messages
79,585
Reaction score
12,495
Location
London
Bumped into the man himself. #cans. He volunteered a commitment to produce his match report by Sunday evening.
 

upnorthbee

Active member
Joined
3 Jan 2006
Messages
2,221
Reaction score
1,148
Location
Singapore
Roger, pal of @badgerbee asked me to pass on his match report from last weekend:

Woke up at 6.00am and had a bath before taking Fenton to stretch his legs for over Richmond Park.

Got dressed: cashmere sweater, lime green chinos, sperry boat shoes and my Team Sky cycling cap.

Set off down the hill to Richmond station, picked up the Guardian and breakfast at Benugo's: smoked salmon, 1 avocado, 2 poached egg, 1 poppy seed bagel, 1 bunch of rocket and an oat milk latte. Will give the breakfast 7/10 as the salmon tasted farmed.

Met some of the TW10 chaps on the train to Palace and quaffed a couple of pinot noir miniatures on the journey. Saw Wayne at the platform undertaking his care duties and it made me ponder what it must be like to earn less than £200k per year.

On to the game and I must say the Palace turn out was very poor apart from one chap in the family stand with a roll neck jumper and rain Mac.

Game wasn't upto much so left early and Misses R picked me up at Richmond station before an evening of beef carpaccio and more pinot noir.

Looking forward to Villa.
I'd love to read this "alternative" version every week too, very funny.
 
OP
Fleet John

Fleet John

Active member
Joined
13 Feb 2011
Messages
1,673
Reaction score
709
Location
Leighton Buzzard
After just 3.5 hours sleep the alarm went off at 05:30, it was match day again, the blank canvass of Birmingham awaited. By 06:00 I was out walking the dogs at Tiddenfoot Country park before heading home for Breakfast at 06:45. With Frankie of Frankie’s café on holiday with his family thus his café being closed and my back-up of the Route 66 diner not opening until 09:00, Mrs Fleet was on breakfast duty. I knew it was going to be a long day, so I opted for:
  • 6 Bacon
  • 4 Sausage (Marks & Spencer Pork and Apple)
  • Portobello Mushrooms
  • 2 Tomato
  • 2 Black Pudding
  • 2 Fried Eggs
  • Beans
  • Bread & Butter
  • Tea
It was a stunning effort and one I could enjoy without the constant worry of spilling HP source down my casual clobber as I was still wearing my dog walking gear. Breakfast done, I stuck on my football playlist and went and had a bath and put on my clobber for the day, namely:
  • Sergio Tacchini Bucket Hat
  • Fila Polo Shirt
  • Aquascutum Shorts
  • Adidas SL80 Runners
I was in two minds about topping the look off with my mirrored Ray-Ban Aviators, but after consulting BBC Weather (when have they ever been wrong….) with the exception of sunny intervals between 08:00 and 10:00, the forecast for Brum was cloudy all day, so I thought better of it and decided to leave them at home. With two cold #cans in a carrier bag, I was picked up at 08:20 by Leighton Buzzard Taxi’s and whisked away to the station. I was due to catch the 08:47 Southern train to Milton Keynes but jumped on the London North Western Railway’s 08:40 service, as Southern services are often cancelled and getting to Brum late was obviously not an option. I landed in Milton Keynes at 08:50 and went to the waiting room on Platform 6 to sit down. Whilst in the waiting room at 09:06 I opened my first can of Strongbow and then caught my train the 09:17 to Birmingham New Street.

The train was absolutely packed, so I ended up standing the whole way to Birmingham in the section between the carriages by the toilets. The sooner they get on with opening HS2 the better in my book. All the people that moan about it are never the ones impacted by actually having to use the overcrowded, over capacity northwest main line. Anyway, the train journey up was relatively quiet – I half kept an eye out for any Herd, Headhunters or 6:57 as Arsenal, Chelsea and Pompey were all playing in the north west and Awaysocks had already messaged that there was a decent old school Chelsea turnout at Euston, but I managed to miss all three. The train stopped at Coventry but there were no Legion to be seen on their way to QPR – they must have left already. Two #cans later at 10:06 the train pulled into Birmingham New Street and I exited the station via the Howard Street exit, with the barriers being left open – I asked myself the point of buying a ticket as my ticket was not checked there and back all day and the barriers were open – its no wonder our rail system is in the mess that it is.

Once out the station with Kool & The Gang’s Get down on it being played at full blast through my Apple AirPods I purposefully strolled towards the first pub of the day, The Bull Ring Tavern. To get there you have to walk through the Bull Ring Market, as the pub came into view the excitement of the day was really kicking in and I can honestly say that there would have been no place I would rather have been in the world. Despite this, part of the casual way of life is to ooze distain wherever you go, so despite how I was actually feeling, I did my best to put an expression on my face of utter exasperation at having to venture into such a sh*t hole to go and watch my team play, as if the middle of Birmingham was the last place I would like to be, as if it was somehow beneath me. With this expression plastered over my face, clobbered up, and a toned-down Liam Gallagher walk perfected, I hope in someway I upset one or two locals.

Anyway, despite it only being 10:15 in the morning the pub was doing a roaring trade. Druggie and Nick Logan were holding court with Bill Benn and after paying just £2.90 for a Strongbow I joined them. The Bull Ring Tavern is quite a strange boozer in so much that it is located right on the edge of the Irish working class area of Birmingham. So if you look out the front you overlook the redeveloped part of Birmingham City Centre, but anything behind the pub onwards is an absolute hell hole and really rough and run down. I know its only a matter of time before this great pub gets condemned and turned into a luxury block of flats, hence making the most of it whilst its still here. At 10:45 a train load of BYE descended on the pub so we were over 40 handed in Birmingham City Centre before 11:00, with no Old Bill to be seen and no Villa either – some people would call that an off the pitch result in the world of the chap.

I would have been quite happy to stay in this fine establishment for the whole of the pre match build up but everyone else wanted to head to Snobs near the station so after a couple of pints with the time nearing 11:00 we all walked back through the market to Snobs.

By just gone 11:00 we were all holed up in Snobs and the cider was once again flowing – Aspalls sadly as they did not do Strongbow. At 11:30 we were joined by Sir Dave of Davestings and Awaysocks, and then Goodminton and a couple of his mates arrived too. Myself and Awaysocks talked about our favorite football hooligan films, namely the original firm, the 2009 Firm remake, ID and Football Factory. We also discussed the chances of Awaysocks getting into the ground as his Mrs had ripped his ticket up after he stayed out on the session last week so he had to sellotape it together – I said I thought he would be ok. For the next couple of hours this bar became the place to be seen for anyone who runs in the chap circles on matchday. By about 13:00 a few dozy Villa had entered the place. The BYE were singing songs about Jack Grealish leaving Villa due to the poor quality of the Villa team. One funny moment when I was having a piss in the loo was when one of these Villa lads mistook Druggie for also being Villa and started moaning to him about disrespectful cockneys, as Druggie was explaining that he was actually Brentford, about 6 BYE bundled into the loo and the Brummie lad very quickly went quiet and made a hasty retreat.

By now the time was getting on for 13:30 and I had consumed 5 pints of Aspalls so was starting to feel pretty chilled. However, the drink and testosterone filled pub was now full of lads from both Villa and Brentford and was probably a powder keg waiting to explode. Knowing that the BYE could quietly easily deal with their Villa counterparts in there, myself, Nick Logan, Druggie and someone else but I can’t remember who, jumped in a taxi and headed to the Whitton Arms.

We got out the cab and paid our two quid to enter the Whitton Arms. In there we met Pointy and a non GPG TW8 along with Northampton Bee. I think Northampton Bee was pretty merry as he told the TW8’s about how he was going to knock out his daughter’s boyfriend despite not knowing the bloke, or the bloke doing anything wrong. We consumed another two pints in this pretty decent away fans only pub before making our way to Villa Park.

The sun was beating down and the streets were packed with football fans – the deserted streets of Covid 2020 seemed like a distant memory as we made our way to Villa Park. And what a stadium it is, like Brentford, being located in the heart of the community. After a thorough search, the steward making empty literally everything from my pockets (so unnecessary) we were in. We were immediately greeted by Dave Lane and Billy of Beesotted who kindly introduced me to his daughter and we all spoke a bit of football, all collectively feeling pretty bullish of our on the pitch chances. Then it was time to make our way to our seats. With the away end being pretty much sold out I went and sat in my designated seat which was next to left Wing Ben, but after consuming 9 pints and 2 cans pre match, my reading skills were not what they should have been and I got my row wrong, so had to move a few rows forward just before kick-off. I found myself about 3 rows behind Harry Potter so made a point of saying Hello when I went to the loo after 15 minutes. The highlight of the first half was Sonofabee thinking that Harry Potter was singing sit down shut up to him when he was actually directing the chant at the home end, it was funny if you were there watching this exchange play out.

I cursed how useless BBC weather was as the sun beat down on us all through the match wishing I had my sunglasses. I must say it was an absolute privilege watching Brentford play at Villa Park. An amazing stadium, packed to the rafters and the noise they made celebrating their goal was impressive. With the ground filled to capacity, the sun beating down on us and the away end in full voice, it was a really stunning backdrop to watch a game of football.

After 35 minutes I noticed all the chaps were congregated to the far right of the lower tier of the away end, right near all the Villa lads, including Ambrose 1889, Oddbod, Paulo Bee, Pointy, Nick Logan, Druggie, Posh George and Bracknell_Bee18 who’s hand I shook as I made my way to the seats in that part of the ground. Nick Logan looked like he had taken on a bus load of Villa Hardcore in my absence with a swollen eye and blood all over his face, but it turned out he had simply fallen over during the Brentford goal celebrations, an occupational hazard of the chap lifestyle.

Being that Villa are one of the few clubs to serve Strongbow in the ground I made my way down to get a pint at halftime. I chatted to Nocoat and his lad before getting in the queue to help Nick Logan who was on halftime pint duty. Whilst in the queue I had a good chat with Voice From the Breamar and we both agreed that Millwall and Portsmouth are two of our favorite non Brentford clubs, that tick the boxes of high quality and quantity of chaps. Regrettably the service was slow so the second half had already started by the time I had started my halftime beer. I was not really that fussed though as I was enjoying having a good chat with westwing about when we played Cheltenham away and the CVF turned up throwing flares at the pub after the match – that was quite a day and they even had a small turnout at our place later that season as well with Ken and co having to be on their a game to keep the warring factions apart.

By 16:20 I was back in my seat next to Pointy watching the second half. Well, more watching the Villa fans behind the goal. They were up to their normal tricks of goading the away fans and pointing at everyone and basically behaving like absolute children. There was one bloke in a gray stone island jumper and glasses that was particularly annoying, thinking he was the next Steven Fowler (Villa Hardcore’s top face from back in the day) or something. It always makes me laugh at Villa as the lads behind the goal spend the entire match gesticulating and telling you how your going to get beaten up, sliced up or killed immediately after the match, only to completely disappear into thin air as soon as they leave the ground, it really is strange behavior and I am sure the real Villa lads (who are very decent btw) must cringe at these utter Muppets.

Once the final whistle went, we all clapped the team off and without trying to sound like some kind of scarfer, I really love Thomas Frank and this team really makes me so proud of what we have achieved. I also made sure I shook hands with some of the Villa stewards who on the whole seemed like a decent bunch who let us stand up all game and just left us to it, its nice when common sense prevails.

After the final whistle myself, Druggie and Sir Nick all made our way to the off license by Whitton Station. Whist in the queue we saw Banana wondering around like a lost soul so said hello. We also sadly witnessed a Lacoste clad Villa bully who must have been in his mid 40’s, i.e. old enough to know better have a go at a replica shirt clad Brentford fan who was waiting in the queue with his Mrs telling him to watch himself as he was on his manor in that awful Birmingham accent. Needless to say, this clown did not have the balls to say anything to myself, Druggie or Nick, and I was tempted to give this joker a piece of my mind, but as things did not escalate I figured this was not a battle worth having, regardless another Villa muppet embarrassing himself unfortunately and had things escalated we would quite a happily sorted this chap out as no one likes a bully, especially when its aggression against one of our own.

#cans secured (the full pint variety and cold so definitely worth the wait) and with the queue for Whitton station looking massive and the roads grid locked we made our way to the unfortunately named Yew Tree pub. We wondered into the garden and sat on a table with a family of Villa scarfers (Dad, Mum, Son, Daughter). The son looked like a cross between John Stones and Christian Norgaard and was wearing and England Shirt. We spent the next hour chatting football with them, proving that there are some decent Villa types out there. The pub was decent too, full of a mixture of chaps and scarfs from both clubs but no hint of problems, they also subscribed to our eating’s cheating mantra. I had a good chat with a Villa lad about Sergio Tacchini and the drink was flowing – we stayed here for about 90 minutes in the end as it took nearly 50 minutes to get a taxi. The taxi eventually dropped us off at Moor Street station and with Nick still struggling with mobility after his goal celebrations we decided to knock it on the head.

I went into the station for a quick piss as I really like this station. Having a Grandad who worked for the Great Western (Western Region) in Birmingham as a fireman on the trains makes me feel like I have an affinity to this station as opposed to the bland shopping centre that is New Street. Moor street retains its historic charm even to this day – think Marylebone compared to the concreate monstrosity of Euston in London.

Station admired and bladder emptied I walked to New Street and bought the last #can of Strongbow from WH Smith in the station and two #cans of dark fruit before making my way onto the train. As I was travelling alone, I spent £2.49 to rent ID on my iphone and minded my own business watching that and drinking Strongbow all the way home, thinking how amazing the Rock looked as a football boozer with Bob the landlord as the friendly local publican – it reminded my of the Zoo in its heyday.

3 #cans later I was back in Leighton Buzzard where I went to Kebab Ye for a large Lamb Shish kebab with salad and chili sauce. I got a taxi home and walked through the door at about 22:20.

How good is it to have awaydays back – answer very very good. I can’t do Wolves so West Ham is up next. Although I am going to Manchester with No Surrender bloke next weekend to watch Blackgrape play their hometown. I may well knock up a report for that as well as music and football are all closely linked in the casual world, especially a band of working class Mancs.

Unbeaten into the international break, where do we go from here…………

Photo0.jpgPhoto 1.jpgPhoto 6.jpgPhoto 2.JPGPhoto 5.JPGPhoto 3.jpgPhoto 4.jpg
 

nocoat

King of the Geeks
Joined
19 Jan 2001
Messages
49,684
Reaction score
3,380
Location
No longer my beloved NAM
Wonderful report !!!

“Left wing Ben ..” 😂

I know who away socks is now as I saw said ripped up ticket in the beer queue at half time .

Edit: and now the photos have also loaded up and it’s the same

Coyb.
 

nocoat

King of the Geeks
Joined
19 Jan 2001
Messages
49,684
Reaction score
3,380
Location
No longer my beloved NAM
For the record I was researching out to get out of that hellhole the fastest way possible!

I gave you the best option! Walk it !! Nice easy walk and time to have some #cans on the way. Lovely stuff for me and @Billy Hunt plus the kid hangers on
 
Top Bottom