Garth Crooks’s Team of the Week

SH

Active member
Joined
30 Dec 2001
Messages
2,609
Reaction score
1,565
Location
SE1
In the category of world’s worst football pundit, and despite so much truly awful competition, Garth reigns supreme.

Salah: I'm almost irritated by my own selection. By Salah's standards, this was a poor performance from the Egyptian superstar.”

Meanwhile… at the other end of the pitch. What an absolute clown 🤡
 

Hungerford Bee

Active member
Joined
23 Jun 2001
Messages
3,170
Reaction score
447
Location
Uxbridge / Bali
If I may ask, who was keeper that Mr. Crooks considered to be the best this week? Must have been a hell of a performance!
 

JANORAK

Active member
Joined
14 Nov 2003
Messages
6,634
Reaction score
974
Location
A goal kick from Harrow Borough FC
A great idea to centralise the Great One’s outpourings. However, to promote discussion, comment, or even ridicule, perhaps a quick listing of the week’s victims and nearlies would get things going..
 

Ghost

Active member
Joined
22 May 2002
Messages
9,441
Reaction score
719
Location
Mitcham
Garth Crooks is a big team cocksucker like so many so called pundits. Should have hung up his boots and driven a bus. Absolute ****.
 

Ghost

Active member
Joined
22 May 2002
Messages
9,441
Reaction score
719
Location
Mitcham
If I may ask, who was keeper that Mr. Crooks considered to be the best this week? Must have been a hell of a performance!
Martinez. Raya’s save was world class, up there with Gordon Banks and Seaman. How he has diverted the ball in the direction he did I still don’t know. But he plays for the wrong club. I give most of these “experts” no credence. Whether he did the analysis I don’t know but at least Shearer/MOTD intelligently broke down how we targeted Trent at the back post and I got an insight I hadn’t fully appreciated live. This is rare treat however whereas it should be the norm for these people being paid handsomely to pontificate on the game.
 

Tudor bee

Member
Joined
2 Sep 2013
Messages
416
Reaction score
43
Location
Ashford
Phew...thanks Garth. What insight.

Ten of the 11 Brentford players have played in every game this season and that is why they will eventually struggle to survive this season, although I think they just might make it.
 

jlove

Well-known member
Joined
17 Dec 2002
Messages
35,929
Reaction score
3,416
Location
Vaison-la-Romaine
Martinez. Raya’s save was world class, up there with Gordon Banks and Seaman. How he has diverted the ball in the direction he did I still don’t know. But he plays for the wrong club. I give most of these “experts” no credence. Whether he did the analysis I don’t know but at least Shearer/MOTD intelligently broke down how we targeted Trent at the back post and I got an insight I hadn’t fully appreciated live. This is rare treat however whereas it should be the norm for these people being paid handsomely to pontificate on the game.
Emi Martinez certainly makes the s***house TotW, though.
 

Ghost

Active member
Joined
22 May 2002
Messages
9,441
Reaction score
719
Location
Mitcham
Phew...thanks Garth. What insight.

Ten of the 11 Brentford players have played in every game this season and that is why they will eventually struggle to survive this season, although I think they just might make it.
Even this is loaded with a tone that suggests we’ve not thought we might need a squad of players capable of stepping in. They just can’t help themselves to have a overt or veiled dig and just give credit where it’s due.
 

Peteseeger

An expert on nowt
Joined
15 May 2013
Messages
412
Reaction score
486
Location
Brentford
Martinez in team of the week because Fernandes blasted his penalty over the bar - wow! Maybe Raya should do the Samba on the goal line and scare the sh*t out of Antonio as he bears down on him in order to quality for team of the week.
 

filmyfan

Active member
Joined
29 Mar 2006
Messages
1,401
Reaction score
161
Location
Citizen of Nowhere
Gives the goalie spot to Martinez - no not for a save or such like but for challenging Ronaldo- who by the way didnt take the ensuing penalty - which was missed - not saved - good work Garth
 

Bush Tuckerman

Tactical Genius
Joined
9 May 2001
Messages
3,976
Reaction score
69
Location
Sydney
Phew...thanks Garth. What insight.

Ten of the 11 Brentford players have played in every game this season and that is why they will eventually struggle to survive this season, although I think they just might make it.
This really annoyed me as so unnecessary…didn’t flow on at all from the analysis of Salah!
 

BEEcool

Active member
Joined
14 Feb 2005
Messages
2,452
Reaction score
2,164
It's a rubbish column , cant believe the BBC keep it going.
You're right, it's terrible but I actually love it. 'The Crooks of the Matter'? You can't buy that sort of sh*t.
 

kenbee

Member
Joined
16 Mar 2009
Messages
44
Reaction score
28
GC refuses to pick a defender whose team concede 3 goals,but then picks Salah who spurned a fairly easy chance to put Liverpool 4-2 up.
Hardly joined up thinking Garth.
Very unfair to Raya aswell
 

Silly Hat

Purveyor of (mostly) absolute nonsense
Joined
25 Jan 2002
Messages
5,524
Reaction score
4,856
Article 15 of the GPG Code of Conduct states that "Trolling" (i.e. posting in order to deliberately get a reaction or by posting false rumours etc.) is not permitted”.

Given that Garth Crooks has trolled the UK public for years now, as well as stealing a career, shouldn’t this thread be deleted and its originator made to sit on The Naughty Step for a bit? 🤓
 

hanworthbee

Well-known member
Joined
13 Jun 2005
Messages
28,520
Reaction score
776
Location
Ashford
The man is a dinosaur, in a job because he played the race card with the BBC some years ago and reduced to token contributions like this.
Hated in the game while the PFA rep, hated by BBC because he has them over a barrel.
Sad, bitter, delusional nobody, his opinion carries no weight whatsoever
Complete cretin BBC should have moved on years ago
 
OP
Oxford Bee

Oxford Bee

Active member
Joined
16 Mar 2001
Messages
1,243
Reaction score
263
Location
St Albans
Article 15 of the GPG Code of Conduct states that "Trolling" (i.e. posting in order to deliberately get a reaction or by posting false rumours etc.) is not permitted”.

Given that Garth Crooks has trolled the UK public for years now, as well as stealing a career, shouldn’t this thread be deleted and its originator made to sit on The Naughty Step for a bit? 🤓
I’m glad everyone thinks this was a good idea …

:sneakoff:
 

Rob-BEE

Buzzing
Joined
20 Jan 2016
Messages
787
Reaction score
434
Location
West Byfleet
I'm pretty confident he watches none of the games, at best he might watch MOTD but sometimes I doubt he even does that. I think he just looks down the list of goalscorers and shoe horns some of them into an XI, usually with a random midfielder playing in defence. Quite surprised Pinnock didn't make it actually, since defenders who get on the scoresheet are usually guaranteed a spot.
 

sonofabee

Well-known member
Joined
14 Feb 2003
Messages
47,820
Reaction score
2,256
Location
Walton on Thames
Complete cretin BBC should have moved on years ago
They can’t, he called in his legal team when he was advised many years ago that his services were no longer required and his contract was not being renewed as time for new faces etc. The risk averse BBC decided to keep him in employment when he listed a whole host of examples of discrimination that he would sue them for unless they re considered and extended his contract indefinitely as one of a unusually small quota of people belonging to a number of under represented groups at the BBC.
The upshot was they rolled over and now give him the bare minimum they can in terms of air time or press exposure but he’s well paid for it. He positioned himself as a champion of all sorts of minority groups that came from his time as PFA rep. He used it to get himself a well paid career after football doing virtually nothing and the BBC see it as less damaging than sacking him!
 
Last edited:

Peteseeger

An expert on nowt
Joined
15 May 2013
Messages
412
Reaction score
486
Location
Brentford
I'm pretty confident he watches none of the games, at best he might watch MOTD but sometimes I doubt he even does that. I think he just looks down the list of goalscorers and shoe horns some of them into an XI, usually with a random midfielder playing in defence. Quite surprised Pinnock didn't make it actually, since defenders who get on the scoresheet are usually guaranteed a spot.
Give Mr Crooks a break. He is simply absorbed in his fantasy football league which operates in a parallel universal to the rest of us. Afterall, have you ever seen him claim to know anything about football in the real world? Exactly. He was even awarded an OBE (Out of Body Experience) for his services to surreal utterances of a football nature.
 

Rob-BEE

Buzzing
Joined
20 Jan 2016
Messages
787
Reaction score
434
Location
West Byfleet
Can one of the mods please re-name this the Garth Crooks Appreciation thread? Seems more apt.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SH

wibs

Well-known member
Joined
6 Jun 2001
Messages
30,386
Reaction score
2,906
Location
I AM a location
You lot are such suckers. Do you not realise Crooks has been performing the world's greatest piece of performance art for over two decades now?

He will reveal his project in late May 2023, shortly after his proclamation that PSG were desperately unlucky to lose 5-0 to Brentford on the CL final. His final sentence will be "PSG were crying out for a player of the quality of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain".

All hail Garth.
 

Indian Bee

Well-known member
Joined
10 Feb 2001
Messages
10,098
Reaction score
3,816
Location
Manhattan
Raya makes it this week

 

Wooburn Bee

Active member
Joined
22 Feb 2006
Messages
3,410
Reaction score
558
Raya makes it this week

I disagree our squad is so thin. Yes at wing back or full back but we have decent cover elsewhere I would say and more than cover as witnessed by our midfield options, Wissa up front and Zana, Goode and MBS at back
 
Joined
20 Nov 2004
Messages
22,595
Reaction score
1,369
Location
Whitton
I disagree our squad is so thin. Yes at wing back or full back but we have decent cover elsewhere I would say and more than cover as witnessed by our midfield options, Wissa up front and Zana, Goode and MBS at back
It may be that Garth thinks our squad is too thin because he hasn’t heard of any of them 🤷‍♂️
 

Banana

Very, very seldomly incorrect
Joined
7 Apr 2000
Messages
78,834
Reaction score
11,521
Location
London
"I said last week that Brentford's squad is so thin it will struggle to survive the demands of the Premier League"

How does he know exactly? We have 25 players like the rest of them!
 

Mr Tree

President of the PBSA
Joined
28 Apr 2000
Messages
35,011
Reaction score
616
Location
Czech Republic
Check out his intro this week:
Liverpool heaped the pressure on Manchester United and boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer with a 5-0 thrashing at Old Trafford on Sunday.

Chelsea thumped Norwich 7-0, Manchester City beat Brighton 4-1 and West Ham moved into the Champions League places with a 1-0 win against Tottenham.

Watford stunned Everton with a 5-2 victory at Goodison Park, while Arsenal beat Aston Villa 3-1 on Friday night.

Meanwhile, Southampton drew 2-2 with Burnley, Leeds and Wolves shared a 1-1 draw and it was also 1-1 between Crystal Palace and Newcastle.

Check out my team of the week and then make your own selections towards the bottom of the article.

Now, of course, he is an utter moron and no-one really cares. But where the fk is the editor? Surely it's a simple job to just count whether his tiny mind managed to include a reference to all 10 results or not??!!
 
Top Bottom