Garth Crooks’s Team of the Week

SH

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In the category of world’s worst football pundit, and despite so much truly awful competition, Garth reigns supreme.

Salah: I'm almost irritated by my own selection. By Salah's standards, this was a poor performance from the Egyptian superstar.”

Meanwhile… at the other end of the pitch. What an absolute clown 🤡
 

Hungerford Bee

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If I may ask, who was keeper that Mr. Crooks considered to be the best this week? Must have been a hell of a performance!
 

JANORAK

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A great idea to centralise the Great One’s outpourings. However, to promote discussion, comment, or even ridicule, perhaps a quick listing of the week’s victims and nearlies would get things going..
 

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Garth Crooks is a big team cocksucker like so many so called pundits. Should have hung up his boots and driven a bus. Absolute ****.
 

Ghost

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If I may ask, who was keeper that Mr. Crooks considered to be the best this week? Must have been a hell of a performance!
Martinez. Raya’s save was world class, up there with Gordon Banks and Seaman. How he has diverted the ball in the direction he did I still don’t know. But he plays for the wrong club. I give most of these “experts” no credence. Whether he did the analysis I don’t know but at least Shearer/MOTD intelligently broke down how we targeted Trent at the back post and I got an insight I hadn’t fully appreciated live. This is rare treat however whereas it should be the norm for these people being paid handsomely to pontificate on the game.
 

Tudor bee

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Phew...thanks Garth. What insight.

Ten of the 11 Brentford players have played in every game this season and that is why they will eventually struggle to survive this season, although I think they just might make it.
 

jlove

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Martinez. Raya’s save was world class, up there with Gordon Banks and Seaman. How he has diverted the ball in the direction he did I still don’t know. But he plays for the wrong club. I give most of these “experts” no credence. Whether he did the analysis I don’t know but at least Shearer/MOTD intelligently broke down how we targeted Trent at the back post and I got an insight I hadn’t fully appreciated live. This is rare treat however whereas it should be the norm for these people being paid handsomely to pontificate on the game.
Emi Martinez certainly makes the s***house TotW, though.
 

Ghost

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Phew...thanks Garth. What insight.

Ten of the 11 Brentford players have played in every game this season and that is why they will eventually struggle to survive this season, although I think they just might make it.
Even this is loaded with a tone that suggests we’ve not thought we might need a squad of players capable of stepping in. They just can’t help themselves to have a overt or veiled dig and just give credit where it’s due.
 

Peteseeger

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Martinez in team of the week because Fernandes blasted his penalty over the bar - wow! Maybe Raya should do the Samba on the goal line and scare the sh*t out of Antonio as he bears down on him in order to quality for team of the week.
 

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Gives the goalie spot to Martinez - no not for a save or such like but for challenging Ronaldo- who by the way didnt take the ensuing penalty - which was missed - not saved - good work Garth
 

Bush Tuckerman

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Phew...thanks Garth. What insight.

Ten of the 11 Brentford players have played in every game this season and that is why they will eventually struggle to survive this season, although I think they just might make it.
This really annoyed me as so unnecessary…didn’t flow on at all from the analysis of Salah!
 

BEEcool

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It's a rubbish column , cant believe the BBC keep it going.
You're right, it's terrible but I actually love it. 'The Crooks of the Matter'? You can't buy that sort of sh*t.
 

kenbee

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GC refuses to pick a defender whose team concede 3 goals,but then picks Salah who spurned a fairly easy chance to put Liverpool 4-2 up.
Hardly joined up thinking Garth.
Very unfair to Raya aswell
 

Silly Hat

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Article 15 of the GPG Code of Conduct states that "Trolling" (i.e. posting in order to deliberately get a reaction or by posting false rumours etc.) is not permitted”.

Given that Garth Crooks has trolled the UK public for years now, as well as stealing a career, shouldn’t this thread be deleted and its originator made to sit on The Naughty Step for a bit? 🤓
 

hanworthbee

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The man is a dinosaur, in a job because he played the race card with the BBC some years ago and reduced to token contributions like this.
Hated in the game while the PFA rep, hated by BBC because he has them over a barrel.
Sad, bitter, delusional nobody, his opinion carries no weight whatsoever
Complete cretin BBC should have moved on years ago
 
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Oxford Bee

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Article 15 of the GPG Code of Conduct states that "Trolling" (i.e. posting in order to deliberately get a reaction or by posting false rumours etc.) is not permitted”.

Given that Garth Crooks has trolled the UK public for years now, as well as stealing a career, shouldn’t this thread be deleted and its originator made to sit on The Naughty Step for a bit? 🤓
I’m glad everyone thinks this was a good idea …

:sneakoff:
 

Rob-BEE

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I'm pretty confident he watches none of the games, at best he might watch MOTD but sometimes I doubt he even does that. I think he just looks down the list of goalscorers and shoe horns some of them into an XI, usually with a random midfielder playing in defence. Quite surprised Pinnock didn't make it actually, since defenders who get on the scoresheet are usually guaranteed a spot.
 

sonofabee

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Complete cretin BBC should have moved on years ago
They can’t, he called in his legal team when he was advised many years ago that his services were no longer required and his contract was not being renewed as time for new faces etc. The risk averse BBC decided to keep him in employment when he listed a whole host of examples of discrimination that he would sue them for unless they re considered and extended his contract indefinitely as one of a unusually small quota of people belonging to a number of under represented groups at the BBC.
The upshot was they rolled over and now give him the bare minimum they can in terms of air time or press exposure but he’s well paid for it. He positioned himself as a champion of all sorts of minority groups that came from his time as PFA rep. He used it to get himself a well paid career after football doing virtually nothing and the BBC see it as less damaging than sacking him!
 
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Peteseeger

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I'm pretty confident he watches none of the games, at best he might watch MOTD but sometimes I doubt he even does that. I think he just looks down the list of goalscorers and shoe horns some of them into an XI, usually with a random midfielder playing in defence. Quite surprised Pinnock didn't make it actually, since defenders who get on the scoresheet are usually guaranteed a spot.
Give Mr Crooks a break. He is simply absorbed in his fantasy football league which operates in a parallel universal to the rest of us. Afterall, have you ever seen him claim to know anything about football in the real world? Exactly. He was even awarded an OBE (Out of Body Experience) for his services to surreal utterances of a football nature.
 

Rob-BEE

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Can one of the mods please re-name this the Garth Crooks Appreciation thread? Seems more apt.
 
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wibs

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You lot are such suckers. Do you not realise Crooks has been performing the world's greatest piece of performance art for over two decades now?

He will reveal his project in late May 2023, shortly after his proclamation that PSG were desperately unlucky to lose 5-0 to Brentford on the CL final. His final sentence will be "PSG were crying out for a player of the quality of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain".

All hail Garth.
 

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Raya makes it this week

I disagree our squad is so thin. Yes at wing back or full back but we have decent cover elsewhere I would say and more than cover as witnessed by our midfield options, Wissa up front and Zana, Goode and MBS at back
 
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I disagree our squad is so thin. Yes at wing back or full back but we have decent cover elsewhere I would say and more than cover as witnessed by our midfield options, Wissa up front and Zana, Goode and MBS at back
It may be that Garth thinks our squad is too thin because he hasn’t heard of any of them 🤷‍♂️
 

Mr Tree

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Check out his intro this week:
Liverpool heaped the pressure on Manchester United and boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer with a 5-0 thrashing at Old Trafford on Sunday.

Chelsea thumped Norwich 7-0, Manchester City beat Brighton 4-1 and West Ham moved into the Champions League places with a 1-0 win against Tottenham.

Watford stunned Everton with a 5-2 victory at Goodison Park, while Arsenal beat Aston Villa 3-1 on Friday night.

Meanwhile, Southampton drew 2-2 with Burnley, Leeds and Wolves shared a 1-1 draw and it was also 1-1 between Crystal Palace and Newcastle.

Check out my team of the week and then make your own selections towards the bottom of the article.

Now, of course, he is an utter moron and no-one really cares. But where the fk is the editor? Surely it's a simple job to just count whether his tiny mind managed to include a reference to all 10 results or not??!!
 

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Well done Bryan!

 

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