CBU's GPG FAQs

Carri Bee Un

Carri Bee Un

The Most Esteemed and Very Reverend
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CBU's GPG FAQs

What's all this 'Hello Ken' stuff, I don't get it, what is it? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Ken is BFC's community liaison officer or something similar. I believe he has a very solid reputation with many Brentford fans and has assisted positively with the odd incident and shenanigans and scrape.

The police have long monitored this site for hooligan activity and advice on pregnancy, relationships, bereavement, cooking recipes etc. This has amusingly given them some slightly perverse theories on Brentfords best and finest such as the existence of an elite fighting unit known as the 'alcopop army'. However at times I believe they do get genuine useful intelligence off the site and I am led to believe they are closely monitoring Brentford's two top boys GEOFFBEE and DavidGRushden. The sooner those rabid wolves and their gang of hooliattackagoons are off our streets the better :yes: go get em Ken.

The cunningly named [email protected] was once a GPGer and I seem to remember we had a sergeant who couldn't spell his own job title. Alistair appears to have moved on from the GPG members list and can now be found on nazitransvestites.org.uk.

So 'Hello Ken' is usually a riposte in response to a post such as 'where are we all meeting up for Oldham?' 'will you be using fist weapons or a blade for Leeds?' 'Which pub are we burning to the ground in Tranmere?'. Some GPGers use it slightly mjore ironically now and nocoat when he is saying hello to Ken Richardson who I believe is not a policeman but if his daughter wants to put handcuffs on me i'd show her my truncheon and helmet etc.

I trust this helps.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Why was my thread/post deleted?

Truly one of the most frequently asked of frequently asked questions. 'Who am I?', 'Is there a god?', 'What is the nature of good and of evil?', 'What happened to my joke about the gay paki?'

Since the dawn of time the mysteries of post deletion have baffled philosophers, scientists and politicians. Competing theories have ebbed and flowed with nations and empires. It is likely that the theory of post deletion will never be complete without significant gains in our understanding of maths, physics and consciousness. However below I will humbly and with total neutrality offer some of the disparate viewpoints available to the modern day scholar.

1. God made it so. :thetruth: Your post offended a deity and they faxed us to let us know. Our attack hounds are immediately dispatched and the post is dragged bleeding to the cellar for cultural education.

2. It's Big Brother/1984/censorship happening for real. The GPG is not actually a football discussion forum but instead the chosen front line of the commufascista cabal. Your opinion on immigration/benefits fraud/single mothers is just too damned dangerous. Your incisive grasp of the truth is not just mentalist racist bigoted gobshite but is in actuality so close to the truth that the knowledge becoming public would spark a revolution. Your thoughtspeak WILL BE CONTROLLED :suspect:

3. Banana dislikes you. Banana is trying to control Brentford Football Club via tricksy and heavy handed moderation of an internet discussion forum. Your post scares or offends Banana and he will not tolerate it.

4. You are Banana, it is your post and you posted while drinking the night before.

5. You are not in chit chat. yet you think you are in chit chat. Mussolini had the right idea :yes: :slitthroat: :****er: Your post was inane prattle in a forum reserved for specific discussion topics. Your deviation from the point was a crime against nature and if we could have we'd have deleted your friends, your family and your ability to have children. That said, fish puns are good everywhere :yes: I'm also of the opinion that talking b***ocks in the match update thread is fine as well but that represents a schism from current dogma :heretic: Queen of the South equalise at Arbroath! Ooooh isn't it sunny out, not here it isn't, I like crisps.

6. The post crossed the broad grey line between heated discussion and the contravention of the code of conduct "thou shall not abusively be". The reason behind 94% of local post deletion since 1924. Lawyers grow fat on this one. Allegations of inconsistent application of the rules are common. Who can forget Clowngate :yes: :love2: Are you a clown? Or is it just that your position is one that could be reasonably be expected to have come from the mouth of a clown? Is it acceptable to make a simple scientific observation that your face is visually similar to a dead squirrels pus ridden love flange? did I call you a **** or did I just verbalise my theory that I think you're a ****?(i) Who knows :confused: we'll just delete it, so **** you clownface mingehead. MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHHAAA IT'S ONE RULE FOR ME AND ANOTHER FOR YOU MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAA :cough:

7. The post has not been deleted. It's in a different thread, exactly where you did in fact actually post it. Feel free to go off on one about it lol

8. All moderators are nazi sympathisers who were bullied at school and breast fed for longer than is traditionally considered acceptable. They deleted your post because it's the only way they can achieve a pitiful erection and achieve some small sexual satisfaction while browsing pictures of suicide victims and yoghurt. Most of them are sent here by Brentford probation service just to stop them killing people's puppies for just a few ****ing weeks.

9. Fear of legal action. Trained law monkeys scour the web for libel and hey would love to get their filthy claws on the GPG's heaving treasure mounds. Our indentured law slaves will do their best to ensure that the original poster bears all of any such liability but why would the GPG risk it for your pox stained aberration of an opinion?

10. Some posts should simply not be. The GPG is open to anyone who can read including children and some lucky educated womens. All the moderators want is for the GPG to be as inclusive and non-intimidating as it can be without straying from it's mission statement (ii) It's all done with the lightest possible touch. It hurts them more than it hurts you. They only want to help you Roland. Every time they delete a post they die a little inside and they all sit together hugging and weeping and crying at how they had no choice but to shut down your valuable contribution and individual self expression.

11. The internet has holes. Sometimes things fall off the forums into the holes. Because the glue was bad.

12. You used text speak or ALL CAPS

13. You are trying to sell something and you have no connection whatsoever with Brentford Football Club.

(i) It is worth noting for information purposes that representatives of Exeter's Police Force do not see a fine line here :shrug:
(ii) Under construction

Pick one and I trust it clears it all up for you :yes:
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

14 because we've all moved on :love2:
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

lol couple of cracking posts those
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Why don't I receive notifications when my posts are 'liked' or 'quoted' by certain GPG members??
:confused:
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

badgerbee said:
Why don't I receive notifications when my posts are 'liked' or 'quoted' by certain GPG members??
:confused:
Click to expand...

It's been asked before. They do seem to be delayed sometimes for some unknown reason. The facts are that no-one knows
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

...................................I've never received a notification AFAIK (I might not have been looking in the right place of course) - and no, before you say it, it is not because I haven't been 'liked'............................
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Notifications don't appear on the mobile version on my ancient 2g phone. However, they do when I access GPG on my desktop. Hope this helps.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

...........on the mobile version,after a post displays a tweet ,the following posts are in a smaller text..........
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

GP200 said:
...........on the mobile version,after a post displays a tweet ,the following posts are in a smaller text..........
Click to expand...

Yes. We'll have a sort out after one of the more useful admins I) isn't gainfully employed and ii) is in front of the GPG Server at GPG Towers

There's a chance in May.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

badgerbee said:
Why don't I receive notifications when my posts are 'liked' or 'quoted' by certain GPG members??
:confused:
Click to expand...

Tis a dark dark business that, t'were best ye didn't ask such questions of us :nono: tis best not, now get theee gone and no more of this lollygaggin'

I trust this resolves the matter. Please find our invoice enclosed we look forward to settlement in due course.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

WTF has happened to my work friendly blue, the green looks like a football thingy, the light blue doesn't! Sort it out Benham!
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Plymouth? Yeovil? SAP Boring Blue is what is needed!
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

It could be a bit less colourful no doubt, are we getting a second option back for individual camouflage needs? SAP style would definitely be my preference

I believe this is now a FAQ so I look forward to answering myself in due course. Thank you for calling.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Forgive me, is there a request here or just people moaning?
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

yes :yes:

i must admit, i fear change and i lost my blue work-friendly yesterday to see a change to green. i got over it cos i'm that sorta geezer, roll with the punches y'know - but i was happy with the old blue work style, looked quite inconspicuous i reckon :sorted:
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Changed to SAP blue as per SAP design guidelines. enjoy everyone. It looks sh*t.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Les Beeavinu said:
Forgive me, is there a request here or just people moaning?
Click to expand...

Nope, the green looks like a football thingy, the new blue just screams out football, the pale blue looked like a boring work thingy, I want my boring back, the new blue just doesn't hide you away.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

i try to avoid agreeing with Northampton Bee, but this blue is too bright :nono:
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

NorthamptonBee said:
Nope, the green looks like a football thingy, the new blue just screams out football, the pale blue looked like a boring work thingy, I want my boring back, the new blue just doesn't hide you away.
Click to expand...

People asked for SAP colours! What ****ing colour do people want? Find me a hex code folks.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

NorthamptonBee said:
I think people are calling you a sap if I'm being honest, not cool IMO, the lightest blue you can find is good.
Click to expand...

Light blue is a lot more work because every white font will need to be changed.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

I've shown a light blue example in the navigation bar and as you can see, the white is washed out so would have to be changed to something darker.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

wot we had before please

:sneakoff:

"light" blue?!? dark blue is a lot more neutral i think.

sorry Les :(
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

There you go. Boring. :( A few style bugs I need to sort out.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

God that's horrible. Do people seriously want something like that? Will do a dark one as well.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Sorry, that's bloody awful. It's got to go.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Sap blue works perfectly for me as i spend half my day in Sap and R/3 etc

It's a yes from me
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Now it's dark blue with red writing, do they want us all sacked? Can we add some music and pornographic images that flash upon login please.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

I working on a special theme for you NB. Not quite there yet but if you select the Noverna style, you'll see where it's heading.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Les Beeavinu said:
I working on a special theme for you NB. Not quite there yet but if you select the Noverna style, you'll see where it's heading.
Click to expand...

Indeed, are we leaving it as dark blue with red writing, this is what happens when you get a ponytail involved who has no football nous. Get it sorted Mods.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

To be honest I can have whatever I want open on my work computer these days as I am the boss. Also most of the work apps these days are designed for youngsters so look like social cocking media even when they're supposed to be underwriting small business liability risk. So leave it as is thank you please it's perfect, you are a scholar and a gentleman
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

When I visit the GPG having switched off my iPad and then back on, I have to log back in again despite 'ticking' the 'stay logged in' box. This doesn't happen when I merely close down my GPG tab and then open it up again in a new one.
Any advice??...........
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

badgerbee said:
When I visit the GPG having switched off my iPad and then back on, I have to log back in again despite 'ticking' the 'stay logged in' box. This doesn't happen when I merely close down my GPG tab and then open it up again in a new one.
Any advice??...........
Click to expand...

I'm certain this is an IOS problem and nothing we can fix. I used to have the same on an iPhone but never had an issue on Android.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Les Beeavinu said:
I'm certain this is an IOS problem and nothing we can fix. I used to have the same on an iPhone but never had an issue on Android.
Click to expand...

Thanks Les.
Was working fine with me until I did a 'clear history' on my iPad yesterday.......odd.......:confused:
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

badgerbee said:
Thanks Les.
Was working fine with me until I did a 'clear history' on my iPad yesterday.......odd.......:confused:
Click to expand...

Yes I never found the answer but it's definitely local.
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

badgerbee said:
When I visit the GPG having switched off my iPad and then back on, I have to log back in again despite 'ticking' the 'stay logged in' box. This doesn't happen when I merely close down my GPG tab and then open it up again in a new one.
Any advice??...........
Click to expand...

I have an iPad but don't have this issue. On browsers this is normally connected to a corrupt cookie. So clear your gpg cookies and anything else stored locally (e.g cache)
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

Banana said:
I have an iPad but don't have this issue. On browsers this is normally connected to a corrupt cookie. So clear your gpg cookies and anything else stored locally (e.g cache)
Click to expand...
:sorted:
Cheers Nana!!!
Seems to have done the trick. :)
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

On my mobile I can switch to default style to see any notifications. However when I click on the link to see my liked posts all I'm getting is a blank white screen, any advice?
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

CTBee said:
On my mobile I can switch to default style to see any notifications. However when I click on the link to see my liked posts all I'm getting is a blank white screen, any advice?
Click to expand...

Which phone and browser?
 

CBU's GPG FAQs

CTBee said:
Windows phone and internet explorer, can see quotes but not likes.
Click to expand...

Sorry I don't have anything like that to test, anyone else?
 
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