Dan Stratford

[Ubee]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eqth8Eo80EY

Oh god....
'Northern boys love gravy... A sweet PK'
'I haven't seen a turtle like that since Madam JoJo at the Volcano Club in Bristo'
'Still no tally on the stadium clock'
'Triple team on the defence'

And if that wasn't bad enough... how about we get some music like this for when we score!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRxKpyhuux4&feature=related

 

[Ghost]

"We got 5 minutes til the quadrant restart folks.. OH! and Dan Stratford takes a knock like a bears kiss as he tried to centre but the ball rolls into the wastebasket. He lost one of his cleats in that tussle, Mike...that's a surefire card infraction for Lewis, we could be looking at an ejection for that felony"

 

[lanceybaby]

Fox news:
'Awesome penetration from Randy Spunkchucker, led down the aisle by his wing man dangerous Danny Stratford, a nil season trade from the fulham-Harrods teen-assaulters'.

 

[Bigbee]

Is this for real?Or is it a wind up you lousy mother ****ers?

 

[Ghost]

a nil season trade from the fulham-Harrods teen-assaulters'.

lol lol lol

 

[bexleybee]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ82aMQONvc

Reminds me of this clip from Mary Whitehouse Experience

 

[lanceybaby]

from ESPNn;
'British youngster Dan Stratford is at the centre of a 4 way currency grab for his sphere sharing services. Involved in the multi-dollar quadra-tussle are the Brentford BuzzStripes, the Kissimee Moon Landings, El Paso Paradigms and the Washington Waterboards. Stratford has managed an 0 and 7 record including 67% of forward retention this symetser for the Cape Cod Pikes.
Our soccerball editor, Hugh Cockinmouth wanders if Dan is ready to return to the pressure microwave that is Premiership 3. He may be tempted to fight for his place along with 32 year old teenage sensation Ghanaian American Frankie Attu and the upcoming La'bemmington Smith Jr at the Preparation H Crater Dome.
As they say Dan,don't lose the gurdle til the milk starts to curdle.'

 

[hairman]

From your responses can I safely say this player is not coming to us - am I right or am I right?

 

[GP200]

From your responses can I safely say this player is not coming to us - am I right or am I right?

..............its all up in the air at the moment...............depends on the exchange rate........................

 

[GABS]

I'm like totally in shock and awe at this breaking news

 

[GP200]

............i am totally misunderomnioverwelmed.....................

 

[stefobee]

Brentford BuzzStripes haha :L

 

[P4U1]

from ESPNn;
'British youngster Dan Stratford is at the centre of a 4 way currency grab for his sphere sharing services. Involved in the multi-dollar quadra-tussle are the Brentford BuzzStripes, the Kissimee Moon Landings, El Paso Paradigms and the Washington Waterboards. Stratford has managed an 0 and 7 record including 67% of forward retention this symetser for the Cape Cod Pikes.
Our soccerball editor, Hugh Cockinmouth wanders if Dan is ready to return to the pressure microwave that is Premiership 3. He may be tempted to fight for his place along with 32 year old teenage sensation Ghanaian American Frankie Attu and the upcoming La'bemmington Smith Jr at the Preparation H Crater Dome.
As they say Dan,don't lose the gurdle til the milk starts to curdle.'

rofllolrofllol

if Dan is ready to return to the pressure microwave that is Premiership 3??

That is the funniest article I have ever read

 

[Boston Bee]

You know it's not a real article right?... :worriedsmilie:

rofllolrofllol

if Dan is ready to return to the pressure microwave that is Premiership 3??

That is the funniest article I have ever read

 

[lanceybaby]

Looks like the deal off

ABC:
Dan Stratford's chances of a move to the Buzzstripes looks to have been scuppered after an injury during a 4/5 final match of this years ultimate knockoutfest against the Chicago Contradictions.
Following a flying head pass by right side corner Claus Faecesburger our man Dan pulled off an amazing multiple toe tap to travel to the 34yard line before going down clutching his centre leg, or knee to our european audience.
It looks like he'll not see the astro turf for at least 3 months!
Buzzstripes chief play umpire Andrew Scott said 'What?' when asked about Dan.

 

[Ghost]

Looks like the deal off

ABC:
Dan Stratford's chances of a move to the Buzzstripes looks to have been scuppered after an injury during a 4/5 final match of this years ultimate knockoutfest against the Chicago Contradictions.
Following a flying head pass by right side corner Claus Faecesburger our man Dan pulled off an amazing multiple toe tap to travel to the 34yard line before going down clutching his centre leg, or knee to our european audience.
It looks like he'll not see the astro turf for at least 3 months!
Buzzstripes chief play umpire Andrew Scott said 'What?' when asked about Dan.

:standstoapplaudcomedygeniuslanceybaby:

 

[lanceybaby]

:standstoapplaudcomedygeniuslanceybaby:

Tip of the hat
I'll stop now, but i could go on.
I may complete an american match report for each of our games next season.

 

[letsallgotolourdes]

Played for Cape Cod Crusaders, shouldn't Grimsby be more his kettle of fish?

Cape cod crusaders?, this entire thread smells a little bit fishy to me, I don't think there's a plaice for this type of player in our squid.

 

[GP200]

Cape cod crusaders?, this entire thread smells a little bit fishy to me, I don't think there's a plaice for this type of player in our squid.

...........oh for cods sake........how many more times........................

 

[Ghost]

Tip of the hat
I'll stop now, but i could go on.
I may complete an american match report for each of our games next season.

As Arnie would say...."DO IT!"

 

[Beeophile]

Available following his release from race-traitor Butcher's Inverness Caledonian Thistle.
Could AS finally get his man?

Could this thread continue in an American tone, or could it be given a Scautish twang, ye ken?

 

[bostonhanwell]

Lots of US players tend to be good atheletes but not techically great footballers. Prob why they've got lots of good goalkeepers. Didn't we have another blokey over form the states last summer?

They were better than England in the world cup.:sad:

 

[shouldbee]

They were better than England in the world cup.:sad:

So were Algeria lol

 

[Ghost]

ye ken?

Hello Ken

 

[Beeophile]

Signed on a multi-lunar cycle promise-binder with the Hereford-Chicago Bulls following his release from the Inverness Caledonian Thistles where he was managed by singaporean head injury specialst, Terry Butcher.
Godspeed Daniel!

 

[jharvey85]

I fail to believe this person actually exists. I reckon he's just a character created in some long-lost thread just to help us amuse ourselves pre-season with some anti-US mocking.

But in any case:

Go D-man!! Woop! Point-hoister central! Get in the goal-end and slam down those offence scores!!

 

[Beeophile]

I fail to believe this person actually exists. I reckon he's just a character created in some long-lost thread just to help us amuse ourselves pre-season with some anti-US mocking.

But in any case:

Go D-man!! Woop! Point-hoister central! Get in the goal-end and slam down those offence scores!!

The Sun did a similar thing in a full page headline during the world cup mocking the Yank take on soccerball.

Dan Startford may just be the greatest Brentford player we never had, oh say can you see...