How will the latest 'new man' be chosen?
They get 6 candidates to stand in a circle then GD stands in the middle and goes "Ip dip sky blue, who's it, not you" until one remains. This person is eliminated from the process.
The remaining 5 names are written on bits of paper and stuck on a dart board, a dart thrown by our glorious blindfolded GD eliminates the next lucky contestant.
The 4 names left are written in a field divided into quarters. A cow is placed on the central crossing point of the field divisions and at a designated point a randomly chosen number of hours later (extraordinary general meeting taken to decide upon number of hours) the location of the cow eliminates one more.
The 3 remaining lucky names are invited to Stripes to take place in a game of pin the tail on the donkey. John Mackie is otherwise engaged so this has to be cancelled in favour of a penalty shoot-out with Clark Masters in goal. After three hours of sudden death with no candidates having yet missed a spot kick, GD makes an unprovoked decision to disqualify one of the candidates based on them having had more previous managerial success than the others.
The two finalists play a drinking version of Top Trumps in the Princess Royal, followed by a face-off with large cotton buds on high platforms a'la Gladiators, the winner being designated the new Brentford manager.
The result of the above is then disregarded entirely and a name is drawn out of a hat, which is then discussed by the board, voted upon, vetoed, voted upon again, discussed again after another batch of prawn sandwiches and G&Ts, disregarded, reinstated, disregarded and again reinstated before allocating the original 6 candidates to a number on a dice, which is rolled on the GP centre spot under the light of a full moon.
The result of this is also disregarded due to the dice not falling and sitting correctly flat on the pitch surface, so GD retires to his portacabin to attempt to choose the name which may not necessarily be the best man for the job but at least doesn't appear to rhyme with anything offensive.
This person is offered the job, but has to decline due to a leak at the club weeks previously leading to rampant press speculation that they would take it.
The process then begins again, this time excluding the chosen candidate but all other candidates withdraw due to anger at the way the original selection process was conducted.
The job is then offered to whoever's standing nearest to GD at the time and Brentford's new manager is Peter Gilham.
I do not originate from Corby/Berwick-on-Tweed. I will of course be happy to pass on my reccomendation as I am sure every other bees fan will be. I would go for Martin Allen!
Why exactly would it be humble pie? The board didn't ask him to leave - he walked out, remember?
