NorthamptonBee
Yes Boss
My Dad RIP
I'm sitting here on my own in a lovely church setting in Duston, Northampton, he is currently being cremated down there in Surrey, I can't be there for various reasons but I do know that I was the closest person that he ever had in his life, I still can't and don't want to be there as I'd create a sideshow on his farewell. He was a decent person who had a very hard upbringing, he was driven to succeed and generally did but IMO it cost him happiness but earnt him millions of pounds. I think he always loved mum but he made her life and my sister's and my early life hell, he scared and hurt us, he was unpredictable and controlling, he also supported Fulham which in later life provided me with an answer as to why he was hurting.....we got through the early years and with me at the ripe old age of 11 he finally and thankfully left our home, he damaged my older sister beyond repair, he'd made my mum question relationships but I still had a chance, a few months later he asked to see me on a Monday night and could we make it a regular thing, I agreed and I found myself sitting in a car and opposite a man I barely recognised, he was charming, kind and thoughtful, I liked him, he apologised to me constantly and I always told him to forget it even though deep down I knew I would always remember the fear I felt and that although I was highly academic and represented, borough, town and in some cases county at sport that he told me for years that I was a useless waste of time. We formed a relationship, he was never my hero but we became mates, I played in the same football team as him, he was crap and I loved hearing people asking how the hell was John Casey was getting another start and the banter was that his 13 year old son was with him and there was the reason, I felt a power shift and he fear was gone. We went on month long holidays to the States, Belguim and Yugoskavia amongst others but cracks started to appear, my move to Northampton was crucial to these cracks starting, he wanted me to take over the business, he'd built it for me he said, the latter bit was a lie, he'd done well but it was all about him. I knew we'd last 2 weeks at most together in business as I couldn't be bossed by him again, in fact I can't be bossed by anyone, my first 10 years dictate that, we would have gone horribly wrong. He had a ropey time with his business and found whiskey was the cure, this led to him telling me what a failure I was on many a drunken phone call and how I would bring up worthless kids too, this went on for a few years and that it became far too regular and I wasn't going to allow him to trample all over me again. I last saw him at his mother's funeral, I shook his hand, he was going to ignore me, we had a chat at the wake, I said goodbye, he wanted more, it was like a marriage to me, I'd forgiven loads, we worked it out by IMO it was over, the trust had gone, I'm sure I was no angel in every part of this whole mess but I feel no guilt at being 100 miles away from his funeral but wish things had been different and that I was making a speech about the nicer times today, thank you for listening and I'm going up wander back home and get back into the real world.
RIP Dad.
RIP Dad.
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