I wonder if fellow GPGers can help me a little further.
At the Bedfont Cricket Club we have a little problem. We've got a chap on the committee - name is Thug Black - every time we ask him to contribute to the Tea Money, he never does - then he says he was never asked. Anyway, he keeps on about we should move to a new place about a 100 metres away: "Blair Road" or something (he's always coming up with imaginary sites - some people call "Walter Mitty" - whatever that means). Anyway, we've told all our members about this exciting new opportunity and they're well up for it, the club have even forked out on an exciting model with little men and trains with one wheel going round and round and round. Don't get me wrong he's worked very hard (and I know he wants to be appreciated) - he's even found a grant to improve the ground from a quasi-Government organisation (all credit there). So wif the money he's been on about putting a giant marquee up over the land at the end of our ground nearest the Eelling Road end - we've had some complaints from the neighbours but he soon saw to them. Or rather his friend did. You see his friend runs the tombola stall at our Saturday fetes (he calls it "Bedfont Brass"), he always comes to the cricket games but never pays for teas either, oh well what can you do :shrug:. Apparently he calls every resident and tells them Thug Black's latest plans and if they don't agree he tells them "There's two ways of sorting this out: the legal way or the other way - and I don't want to be operating the Tombola when we sort it out the other way", Anyway, I digress.
Thug White is now saying that moving the deckchairs from the River Road End to the Eeling Road end would move them away from our traditional catchment areas and into the catchment areas of other village cricket teams miles away. We've also had to change the locks at the club as his mate Mrs Queen has been caught with her hand in the tea monies! Strangely at or about this time Thug White has gone all weepy and says that our pipe dream of Blair Road is a waste of time and that he was brought onto the board to do something else entirely - such as talk to his mates Neverfade Properties about a new sponsorship deal for the club shirt. Apparently this is worth "millions" - although why anyone would want to sponsor our shirt with a attendance of 50 and a ground worth millions in the middle of Mayfair I'll never know :scratch: He also talks trying to convince the local populus that as a we have been in Bedfont for 100 years and are called Bedfont but we should move away from Bedfont so that we are nearer our traditional support base that is not Bedfont. He's mention six other sites some of which are in Woqueen and Queenstonian and he's successfully moved a football club from Cotfont to Blueford and cricket franchising is the way to go
GPGers will recognise that I'm doing a better job than God and Graham Hall put together when it comes to my humble club, In fact I get many fan letters every day from my close friends and family. HOWEVER!!!! Dark forces in my cricket club have been calling my wife (even though I don't have one, er or a phone for that matter - but let's not dwell on the detail!) threatening her about the quality of the teas and suggesting that they've had enough Prawn Sandwiches.
So, fellow GPGers. I trying to find a reason for all of this - can anyone help?????
:mad1:
